I recently listened to a great interview with Dan Hardy and Sean Stephenson, author of Get Off Your But. Sean has an amazing story: he is about three feet tall, uses a wheelchair, and has become a YouTube sensation as a motivational speaker.
Sean says his life's mission is to rid the world of insecurity. I love that mission and it got me thinking about where I might have my own "buts."
Where do you feel insecure? Where haven't you taken your career to the level you hoped? What is the "but" that's stopping you?
The logical response often has to do with a perceived lack of time. Many people I coach do a poor job of managing their time, and management guru Peter Drucker made time management a central topic for executives.
If time management isn't one of your goals, ask yourself why not. HR That Works members may find the Time Management training module useful to start improving in this area.
Often the biggest "buts" have nothing to do with logic—if they did, we'd already be achieving our goals. Most "buts" are emotionally driven and unhelpful.
One useful insight is this: if it doesn't make sense, don't try to make sense out of it. For example, if you want to be more strategic but haven't taken steps, examine what emotional blocks might be stopping you rather than forcing purely logical fixes.
We can tackle these emotional challenges by using three simple actions: coax, encourage, and inspire.
When you coax yourself, you take the first safest step. Success usually comes one step at a time, so a small, low-risk action—like driving by a gym or reading a short primer—can overcome initial resistance.
The second step is to encourage yourself by finding and moving the good energy you already have into a new area. Reflect on times you succeeded—raising children, running a project, or helping a client—and use the actions and feelings from those successes to build confidence.
Encouragement also comes from gratitude: regularly noticing things you can be grateful for shifts focus away from fear and toward action.
Finally, inspire a new story about yourself. Many of our limiting stories came from others—family, teachers, media—and they can be rewritten. I changed my money story after repeated setbacks, and that new narrative helped me keep and grow financial success.
The stories we tell ourselves will shape our lives, often in unexpected ways. Without a better story, you risk a life of regret; instead, choose and tell yourself a great story.
I hear too many "buts"—too much blame and justification and not enough responsibility. Play the responsibility game: coax, encourage, and inspire yourself to get off your "but" and live a life you can truly be grateful for.
Frequently Asked Questions
How do I identify my personal "but"?
Notice the recurring excuses or repeated reasons you give for not acting—those patterns usually point to the underlying "but" that needs attention.
What does it mean to coax, encourage, and inspire myself?
Coaxing is taking a safe first step, encouraging is building on past successes and gratitude, and inspiring is creating a new, positive story about what's possible for you.
How can I begin improving time management if I feel overwhelmed?
Start with one small, specific habit—like scheduling a single focused block of time each day—and build incrementally rather than attempting a complete overhaul at once.
How do I change a limiting story about myself?
Recognize the old narrative, gather evidence of times you succeeded, and consciously repeat a new, supportive story while taking actions that reinforce it.