Do you find yourself stuck between aging parents who require your financial assistance and children who depend on you to pay for their college education or post-college support?
If so, you are not alone. You’re part of a rapidly growing group often called the “sandwich generation,” with millions of people balancing care for older parents while supporting children.
Members of the sandwich generation face daunting financial challenges: paying for children’s education, helping elderly parents, and still trying to save enough for their own retirement.
Fortunately, a number of organizations have published surveys and guidance for people in this situation.
For practical next steps on balancing elder care and family responsibilities, see Navigating Financial Responsibilities Between Aging Parents and Children.
The Surprising Statistics
- According to Merrill Lynch Affluent Insights Quarterly, 31% of baby boomers ages 51–64 are currently supporting, in some or most ways, both their children and parents. More than 45% of this group have made lifestyle sacrifices to support family needs, and 26% are saving less for retirement. Another 19% have invited adult children or parents to live with them to cut expenses.
- Half of the Middle Boomers (about 28 million Americans ages 52 to 58) still have children living at home and 43% of them still have at least one parent alive, according to MetLife’s Mature Market Institute. Nearly three in four Middle Boomers have provided financial assistance to children and grandchildren, averaging about $38,000 over five years, and roughly 14% are providing care to older parents.
- Four in 10 sandwich generation parents continue to provide at least some financial support to their young adult children, according to a Charles Schwab & Co. survey.
In short, many sandwich generation parents are stretched thin and are reducing retirement savings to cover current family needs, which can create problems later in life.
Easing the financial strain
If you’re caring for elderly parents, start by identifying financial priorities and possible trade-offs before a crisis develops.
Discuss financial realities openly with family members so everyone understands limits and responsibilities. You should avoid sacrificing your retirement savings to cover all of a parent’s expenses because that can shift the burden to your children someday.
If you are supporting adult children, focus on helping them build money management skills so they can move toward independence.
Teach budgeting, saving, and debt-reduction techniques, and set a clear timeline and expectations for living at home if that is the arrangement.
For help planning how to protect your retirement while assisting family, consider guidance from resources about retirement planning such as The Importance of Financial Planning for Retirement.
If a child is unemployed, assist with job-search basics like resumes and applications and encourage taking interim work until a better-fit role is found.
Above all, don’t go it alone. Turn to a financial advisor for objective guidance, or talk to an agent about options that may protect your long-term security.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is the “sandwich generation”?
The sandwich generation refers to adults who simultaneously care for aging parents and financially support their own children or young adults.
How can I protect my retirement while helping family members?
Prioritize retirement savings, set clear limits on financial help, and consult a financial advisor to create a plan that balances current support with future needs.
Should I ask adult children to pay rent if they live at home?
Yes—establishing expectations such as contributing to household costs or job-search efforts helps move adult children toward independence while easing financial pressure.
What are practical first steps if I must care for an elderly parent?
Assess your parent’s needs, review their finances and benefits, discuss responsibilities with family, and explore caregiving or community resources to share the load.