What's Your Relationship to Fear?

The underlying theme in all of my programs is courage — the courage to overcome everyday fears, doubts, uncertainties, and mistaken assumptions that keep people from mastering the referral process.

My interviews with hundreds of top performers have identified a few common denominators of success. When I ask a top producer about their secrets to success, they invariably say, "There’s no secret. I just have a good work ethic."

Of course, a good work ethic is necessary. But I believe there is a secret to success that most people know about on some level. Few people talk about one of the most fundamental differences between top producers and the pack of wannabes: their relationship to fear.

About two years ago, I interviewed a very heavy hitter. He’d been the No. 1 or No. 2 producer in his company for more than 14 years. I asked him what motivated him. He said "fear." As successful as he’d been, he admitted that he was afraid he might not be able to duplicate his success. Fear compelled him to take action.

Everyone feels fear and the self-doubt and awkwardness that accompany it. Regardless of their level of success, even top producers experience fear daily. Is fear good or bad? I’d say it’s natural. But to be successful you must answer the question, "What’s your relationship to fear?"

Humans possess the instinctual "fight or flight" response to danger. Faced with physical danger, all animals — including humans — revert to this instinctual response. Psychological danger can also trigger this response. We feel a sense of fear when asking for referrals (or other aspects of the sales process) and we’re faced with a choice. Do I fightthrough this fear and take action? Or do I take flight from the fear and avoid action?

Top producers’ relationship to fear is different from the pack’s. They feel the same fear as the rest. In fact, to obtain their success, they probably expose themselves to even more fear than most. But unlike the rest of the pack, top producers fight through their fear and do what they know they must do to be successful.

So, what’s your relationship to fear? When you hit those moments of awkwardness or self-doubt in the sales arena, or in your business as a whole, what’s your response? Does the fear energize you? Does it spur you to take action? Or do you cower? Be honest with yourself. How you respond to the everyday fears in life (business and otherwise) will make a huge difference in how successful you become — with referrals and with everything else.

My first sales trainer used the phrase "wimp junction" to refer to the fear-inducing places that salespeople trespass regularly. I define wimp junction as "The place where fear meets courage." To get through that junction and on the road to meeting goals successfully, we need to tap into our own personal reservoir of courage. The root of the word "courage" is cour, which derives from the Latin for "heart." Put your heart into your goals and you’ll move through your fears with ease.