Work can be miserable when you and your boss don't get along. Disagreements can be minor and easily resolved, or they can be ongoing personality differences or long-term conflicts that are not resolved. Here are a few tips to try when you and your boss disagree.
Remain Professional
Despite your differences, always remain professional toward your boss, co-workers and your job. Continue to do your best work and avoid badmouthing your boss to colleagues.
Perform Self-Reflection
It's tempting to blame your boss entirely for disagreements, but look at your own role first.
- Pinpoint how you feel when you interact with your boss and what specifically makes you upset.
- Honestly assess your strengths and weaknesses. In some cases you may contribute to the conflict by procrastinating or not delegating enough.
- Ask for feedback. Co-workers, teammates and your boss can tell you when you are slacking, being overly assertive, or if a work style mismatch is causing friction.
Use what you learn from self-reflection to find patterns or recurring issues and make a plan to address what is within your control.
Meet With Your Boss
After assessing your behavior and responsibility, schedule a meeting with your boss. Ask where you fit in with the team and what personal issues cause problems.
Remain humble rather than confrontational as you seek to understand and resolve any issues. If you can't reach a resolution in one meeting, take time to reassess and plan a follow-up meeting.
Meet With HR
If you and your boss are still unable to get along despite your efforts, schedule a meeting with Human Resources. Share the facts about the disagreement and what you have done to address it, then brainstorm solutions together.
Manage Your Stress
Work challenges can create significant stress in both your work and home life. Take time to manage stress in positive ways.
Look for things to be thankful for at work, exercise, meditate, get adequate sleep, and eat a balanced diet to protect your mental and physical well-being.
Walk Away
In the worst-case scenario, you and your boss may be unable to find resolution, and you may need to step away for the sake of your mental health. Consider a transfer to another department or a job with a different company.
If you switch jobs, consider asking someone other than your boss to be a reference, and avoid badmouthing your boss during interviews.
Frequently Asked Questions
How should I prepare for a meeting with my boss about a conflict?
Identify specific examples of the issue, consider your role in the situation, and outline constructive solutions you can propose during the conversation.
When is it appropriate to involve Human Resources?
Involve HR after you have tried to resolve the issue directly with your boss and the problem persists, or if the behavior involves harassment, discrimination, or retaliation.
What if I feel my boss retaliates after I raise concerns?
Document incidents with dates and details, continue to follow professional conduct, and report the behavior to HR or another appropriate company resource.
How can I protect my mental health while dealing with a difficult boss?
Set boundaries where possible, use stress-management techniques like exercise and sleep, and seek support from trusted friends, family, or a counselor.