In some ways, stalemates provide the ultimate test of your negotiating skills. Although there’s no single sure-fire way to break a deadlock, consider these techniques the next time you think you’re stuck:
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Take a timeout. Bona fide deadlock is stressful. Usually, there’s a lot at stake, nerves are frayed, rapport is eroded, and each side is anxious about the outcome. So start with the obvious. Take a walk, get a bite to eat, or get some sleep. Everyone needs a break to reduce tension and help put things back in perspective.
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Get creative. An impasse poses a problem for both sides. For a moment at least, stop nagging, haranguing, and cajoling your opponent. Transcend your own interests and ask: "What are all the possible ways we can solve this problem?" Then, brainstorm together. When each side tries to find a good solution to the other’s problem, everyone’s likely to come out a winner.
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Slow down. This could soften the other side in two ways. First, they might take it as a signal that you’re losing interest, and relent just to keep you talking. Second, if your opponents have been concealing their own deadline, slowing down will make them nervous. There’s a good chance they’ll make concessions to make the deal.
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Crack a joke. In the 1950s, Ford Motor’s senior management deadlocked over how to cut costs. The company had already shut down several plants, but its accountants demanded more. Executives met, and stalled. Their mood was as serious as a heart attack, until one of them joked, "Why don’t we close down all the plants and then we’ll really start to save money?" The room exploded with laughter — and the impasse was broken.
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Go up the ladder. Get to the decision-maker. Companies negotiate through a cadre of executives. An individual entrepreneur might use a lawyer or other professional. When talks bog down, ask the principals for input. If they’re effective, they’ll cut through the stalemate and get things moving again.
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Change negotiators. Personality conflicts can thicken the air. Prolonged bargaining can wear anyone out. Repetitive discussions can give participants severe cases of myopia. Bring in some fresh blood. New participants have a far better chance of seeing the forest, rather than the trees.
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Keep things small. The larger the deal, the more people involved — and the greater the chance for disorganization and miscommunication. Putting everyone in the same room should help put everyone on the same page.
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Ask King Solomon. Bring in a third-party authority. This could be an expert with new information or a mediator to facilitate discussion. You might even appoint an arbitrator and give them the final word on the deal. In any case, new players usually bring fresh ideas and solutions.
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Flip a coin. Well, maybe. I never have, but I don’t see why not. This works well enough on the playing field. Perhaps there are times it can be just as effective at the bargaining table!
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Walk away. High-minded exhortations aside, negotiation is nothing more than a game of chicken — and deadlock is simply a tactic to make you flinch. If the deal isn’t working, walk away. One of two things will happen: The other side will cave, or you’ll be on to your next opportunity. Either way, you’ll be better off.
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