Nothing happens until somebody sells something. To make sales happen, IMMS.com Key Sales Consultant Randy Schwantz has created a comprehensive series of 43 Producer Success Lessons. Used singly or in combination, these powerful tools can help your producers build their skills - and grow their sales.
Salesperson: I understand your concerns, but we usually don’t do that type of underwriting.
Executive: Maybe you don’t ordinarily, but I need some flexibility.
Salesperson: We can be very flexible, but I have to get an OK from the underwriter first.
Executive: Can you get back to me this afternoon?
Salesperson: I’d like to, but our policy is a 24-hour turnaround time.
Do you see that this conversation is going in circles? If it seems silly, think about whether you’ve heard salespeople carry on a conversation like this. The frustrating thing about circular communication like this is that it can be cleared up by changing one word: but.
One dictionary defines 'but' as 'except for the fact, on the contrary.' It’s frequently misused; people use 'but' to negate the phrase that immediately precedes it. For example, they’ll say, 'I understand your concerns, but ...' when they mean 'I don’t understand your concerns.'
DO YOU 'BUT' HEADS?
Do you often 'but' heads with people? It’s simple to do. Just act as if you’re listening to someone, then rephrase what they said and follow it with 'but.' The question then becomes 'Do you like the results you get from 'butting’ heads with other people?' If not, we can work on some very simple alternatives.
Rather than saying, 'I understand you, but ...' try 'I understand you, and ...' By replacing 'but' with 'and,' you change the communication from 'I disagree with you' to 'I respect your position; here’s mine.' For example, the salesperson in the example might say, 'I understand your position, and our agency usually doesn’t do that type of underwriting.' The communication has changed from 'I can’t do that' to 'We might be able to work something out.' By it’s nature, 'and' is inclusive; it implies 'we.' 'But' is exclusive; it implies 'I.'
Other words that can easily be changed to increase rapport and communication are those that, as Benjamin Franklin said, 'give an air of positiveness to an opinion.' Franklin was a master of maintaining rapport. One of his techniques was never to use such words as 'certainly,' 'undoubtedly,' and 'sure.' These words 'give an air of positiveness to an opinion.' For example, 'I’m sure we can’t do that.' Are you? Absolutely positive?
That degree of certainty reduces the chances for flexibility, so the possible outcomes are limited. If your goal is to persuade people, one of the last things you’ll probably want to do is limit your potential outcomes. So rephrase your statement. Try 'It seems to me that it would be hard for us to do that.' Put that way, the prospect’s preference is something that might be hard, but not impossible, to achieve.
DISAGREE WITHOUT RESISTANCE
There’s a powerful technique for dealing with disagreement called the 'agreement frame.' To establish the agreement frame, you have to know and use these three phrases:
- 'I appreciate that, and ...'
- 'I agree, and ...'
- 'I respect that, and ...'
Using these phrases allows you to acknowledge the other person’s frame of reference and redirect the issue without creating resistance. For example, suppose someone tells you you’re wrong. You could answer, 'No, I’m not!' Or you could choose to maintain rapport this way: 'I respect your feelings, and I think if you hear my side, you may feel different.'
DON’T LIKE IT? CHANGE IT!
I’ve found that many people agree with the substance of this lesson and have a hard time changing their old patterns. We might intellectually agree that 'and' works better than 'but' and want to change it. However, our attempts to change take effect only as long as we remember not to say 'but.' When we forget, we think, 'I knew I couldn’t do that.' Not so! All we have to do is create a strong anchor so this response becomes automatic. Here are the steps:
- Find someone who disagrees with you on an important topic, such as politics.
- Choose a specific issue of the topic about which you disagree strongly.
- Switch sides on the issue with your friend and argue in favor of the side you normally oppose. For example, if you’re a member of one major political party, and you think another party is obstructing school improvement by blocking your party’s innovative programs and budget enhancements, take the side of the other party.
- Begin your conversation. One of you makes an opening statement, and the other uses one of the phrases to establish an agreement frame: 'I appreciate that, and (rebuttal).' Then you preface your rebuttal of that remark with another one of the phrases, and so on.
Here’s an example
You: The Edutarians are going to wreck the school system if we aren’t careful.
Friend: I understand your position, and those programs could improve literacy levels and test scores.
You: I respect your opinion, and I feel it’s got to stop now or my kids won’t learn a thing because the teachers are too busy doing bureaucratic paperwork.
Friend: I appreciate how you feel, but ...
The instant you hear your friend say 'but,' set the anchor. Stand up, lean over them, and yell loudly and intensely, 'You said but!’' Then sit down and continue the discussion.
How and why does that exercise work? Simple — you’re creating a visual, aural, and kinesthetic anchor to the word 'but.' From now on, every time you’re about to say 'but,' your mind remembers it might be unpleasant, so it finds an alternative. It’s similar to testing the temperature of your coffee before you take a big gulp. It’s an automatic response. Probably you once burned yourself slightly with hot coffee. Now you don’t, because you have an anchor to test it before you drink.
The goal of this lesson is to help you to change patterns that might be limiting your ability to maintain rapport and at the same time disagree with someone. This is part of the mental flexibility that makes selling and persuading easier. Try these ideas, and watch your stress levels plummet and your sales take off.
EXERCISE
In your personal planner, keep track of all the times you say 'but.' Notice specifically how your communication might have been different if you’d used 'and' instead. If you determine that your communication would’ve been different and more powerful without 'but,' you have one good choice. Find a partner to help you, and create a powerful, useful anchor to keep you from using 'but.'